Encourage milestones but, hold onto the memories.

  

“We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today” Stacia Tauscher

This week Ethan’s class was assigned a history project.  Each child was to create a timeline of their life; thus far. As soon as I read the outline, I was thrilled that it would require so much parental help. I enjoy doing arts and crafts with my boys, so this was right up my alley! I didn’t realize that it would allow me to take a stroll down memory lane and help me to appreciate the time I have NOW with my children even more.

                I am constantly encouraging the boys to reach new milestones, and sometimes that encouragement turns into “pushing”. When Ethan was a baby, I couldn’t wait for him to talk and take his first steps. When he was a toddler talking and running everywhere; I couldn’t wait for him to be a few years older so that I could finally relax a little instead of running after him and trying to prevent every little accident that might occur. Now that Ethan is in school, I find myself wondering how nice it will be when Parker starts school.  I spend so much time focusing on milestones and “age appropriate” skills that I often forget how much I miss cradling my tiny, helpless infants; while they stared up at me. I long for those sleepless nights when Ethan fell asleep on my chest and I could feel his heartbeat against mine. I strive for my children to have independence, but I would give a lot to hold those precious babies again.

                Children really do grow up so fast. I am appreciative of the milestones I can watch my children reach. I get to share the joy when they have accomplished something new. However, I am thankful for the time I have with them now. TODAY, they are happy and healthy. TODAY, they are someone special. TODAY, I will soak up the time we spend and the memories we make and pray that tomorrow will keep coming. Although, I look forward to seeing the men they will become; TODAY I am in love with the children they are!

Patience while parenting...

Is it so hard to have patience and understanding? Sometimes, I think that these qualities are two of the hardest to possess, especially for parents. Yet, they are some of the greatest traits to have. Patience is what balances our world. We should admire those that possess the most of it, and encourage the rest to gain it “

Our patience will achieve more than our force.” -Edmund Burke

Today, as I am sitting here thinking clearly, and have a peaceful, non-irritated mind set, I think back on all of the times that I have yelled at my children or over reacted about something negative they did. It’s easy for me to realize right now that if I was more patient and understanding towards my children in difficult situations, it would get me a lot further than my sudden outbursts of anger that I ALWAYS regret moments afterwards. However, remembering this is not so easy when I have asked my six year old for the 5^th time in one night to clean his room and finish his homework; or when I have to continuously remind my boys to quit fighting and keep their hands to themselves. Sometimes, I just loose it! I turn into a raging monster that yells at the tops of my lungs to accomplish something that a simple time out could have achieved with a lot less tears from both child and mom. Thinking back to these moments, I see the hurt and scared look on my children’s faces. I don’t want my children to fear me. I want their love and respect.

                It’s on these nights that I go to bed full of regret. I regret that I yelled or said the wrong thing. I regret that I over reacted. Most importantly, I regret that I ruined the precious time I had with my children. I pray on these nights for God to grant me strength, understanding and patience to better handle my children’s imperfections. I pray for the wisdom to choose my battles wisely. After all, my kids are just being kids. As parents we must set the example. If I can’t be patient, how can I expect my children to be?  One day, I hope to wake up and be blessed with endless patience and understanding.  Until that happens I will settle with lessons learned and my search to conquer the art of patience!

                The quote, “Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things” really hits close to my heart.  A lot of times we are so focused on the things we deem important and big, that we forget about all of the little pleasures in life. With working all day and only getting a few hours a night with my family, my time spent with them is more important than ever. I don’t want to spend that time regretting things I did or said. I want to spend it enjoying their laughter and smiles while doing the little things that we love. I want to have patience and understanding with my children because one day, I will want them to have patience and understanding with their children.

Here is a picture of the boys enjoying one of the little things in life last night.....our Friday night movie!!

Make it count!

   Now that I am working full time and still keeping busy with the boys endless activities and Ethan's school work, I am REALLY looking forward to this three day weekend. Much more so than I would have been two months ago before I started back to work. Every evening when I get home from work, it is a struggle to balance dinner, homework, bath time, and bed time within a 3 1/2 hour period. It doesn't leave much time for playing with my children. Since my Husband works evenings from home, as soon as I walk into the door he is already working, so I am missing "our" time as well. Long after the children are in bed and the house is somewhat tidy, and I am laying in my bed exhausted I think, "What did I do with my kids or husband today that really counts?"  I go through the routine of asking about their days, looking through Ethan's schoolwork, cooking dinner and reading stories, but most of the time it isn't done with the excitement and encouragement they deserve. I am just trying to rush these tasks and move on to the next task so that I can fit everything in. I feel so much guilt for this and have made a promise to myself to enjoy my family even after a long, exhausting day when I just want to go to sleep. However, I know that there will be days that I break this promise.

   Eventhough, I would love to spend the next three days at home with nothing planned, just relaxing and lounging around; I know that my children need to stay active and my family needs some REAL quality time together. Not the quality time that most of us often have where we are just "being" in the same room or house together but everyone is doing their own thing. I can't tell you how many times I have walked past my husband in the house and did not even acknowledge him because I was so focused on a task at hand. This weekend calls for lots of board games, movie time, tossing the football around, and my boy's personal favorite past time: army battles with their dad. I am hoping the boys will be pleasantly surpised when I actually join forces and take part in the battle this time!

   Three and a half hours a day to see my husband and children is just not enough time.On weekends like this, I get to make up a little bit of that difference. I get to see smiles on my children's faces when they score a touchdown against their dad. I get to cuddle and watch a late night movie with my husband without stressing about how many hours of sleep I will get before having to wake up to go to work. Weekends have now come to be a reconnecting period for me; and it's even better with an extra day to laugh, love, and play! I hope everyone enjoys and appreciates this wonderful weekend. What are you doing to make it count?

Reality hit me hard today and so a blog was born.

   I was sitting at work today in midst of piles of paperwork, phone calls, and letters needing to be mailed out, but all I could think about was being with my family. Today was an emotional day for me because my husband was having a vesectomy. I had already lined up a sitter for Parker and transportation for Kyle, but I couldn't help but think that I should be the one with Parker and driving Kyle to and from his surgery. Not only did I feel guilty for not being there for him, I felt saddened that we were making such a permenant decision. I knew this decision was right for us, atleast for right now; but that did not make it any easier to accept.
   This was the reason for starting my blog. Today just seemed perfect for a new journey to begin. When one door closes, another opens. Honestly, I have pondered writing a blog for some time now but never thought I had enough interesting topics to write about.  Now that I have been struggling daily with the guilt of working full time and never seeming to have enough time in the day, I have more than enough to write about. I love that blogging allows you to write and think freely. I have heard from several people that it can also be therapeutic. My hope is that this blog can help me learn to cope with the guilt of being away from my family 9 hours a day and in doing so help others coping with that same guilt.